After Claire got vaccinated and stopped tending to “Sparkle Island,” Nook moved back to his native Canada to recharge and reassess. Though he could no longer get his greedy paws on Claire’s hard-earned bells, the businessraccoon wasn’t ready to give up his capitalist life style. He raised millions to launch a new Gen Z-targeted credit card with rates so high that Consumer Reports gave it an F rating and called it “the worst credit card ever, and that’s including Billy McFarland’s Magnises.” Nook is now the subject of a Hulu documentary, “Nook & Crook,” and was last seen partying on a seventy-seven-foot yacht in Porto Cervo with Ja Rule.
When Resident Services shuttered, Isabelle tried to keep her spirits up by watching that variety show on TV last night with the fantastic standup comedian—did you catch it? But even that funny show wasn’t enough to stave off a serious bout of doggy depression. No longer the happy pup who’s always eager to help out, she’s had to create an OnlyFans to make ends meet. Rumor has it she’s using the proceeds from her “paw fetish” account to pay her way through Disney World’s hospitality training program.
Timmy and Tommy
Timmy and Tommy tried to keep Nook’s Cranny open with a P.P.P. loan, but they botched the paperwork and ended up losing the loan, and the shop. (If only Claire hadn’t stopped selling fruit!) Like Isabelle, Timmy and Tommy also created an OnlyFans to make ends meet, and have achieved some fame on Reddit for their trademarked “Raccoon Trombone” and “The Yummy Yummy!” (don’t ask). Their sex-position guide “Finding the Cranny” is currently available for preorder on Amazon.
When Claire selfishly abandoned her role in the turnip economy because her “house had enough rooms,” Daisy Mae decided to quit farming altogether and move to Los Angeles, where she quickly landed a small, nonspeaking role in the Netflix animated series “Big Mouth.” She’ll also be appearing as one of the Monstars in “Space Jam: A New Legacy.”
Following Claire’s decision to give up on her museum—which at that point included only the easiest-to-catch bugs—a counterfeit sculpture tipped over and crushed Blathers. Now he haunts the museum, if you can even call it that, as a ghost who bores people to death with facts about—you guessed it—bugs. Claire, somehow, still sleeps soundly at night.
K. K. Slider
After it was discovered that he’d been stealing all of his music from a Christian rapper on YouTube, K. K. fled Sparkle and relocated to the Jersey Shore, where he opened a clothing shop called Doggy Style. After months of struggling, K. K. got a big break when InStyle featured the store’s puka-shell dog tags in its 2020 Holiday Gift Guide. Though K. K. hasn’t been spotted with his guitar since the debacle, he isn’t giving up on music altogether—he was recently overheard saying that he’ll be on the next season of “Dancing with the Stars,” alongside Lark Voorhies and Pepé Le Pew, who’s joining the show as part of his #MeToo apology tour.
The F.B.I. finally caught up to Redd, who ended up serving time for stealing art and selling counterfeits. It turns out that most of Redd’s haul were pieces stolen from Jewish families during the Holocaust. In a lucky twist of fate, Hollywood got wind of the story, and Universal optioned Redd’s life rights. George Clooney is playing him in “Holocaust Art Heist Movie,” coming to HBO Max in 2022.
After realizing that washing ashore on a weekly basis was no way to live, Gulliver gave up drinking and found Scientology. Now celebrating six months of sobriety, he enjoys spending his time at sea, scraping barnacles with his two daughters and his wife, Daisy Mae, whom he, of course, supports with an OnlyFans.
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