PHOENIX (The Borowitz Report)—Adding to the chorus of Republicans criticizing Donald J. Trump’s indictment, Kari Lake said that she was “absolutely livid” that she has not been charged.
“The fact that Alvin Bragg and his grand jury spent months digging up charges against Mr. Trump but couldn’t find one measly thing to indict me for just confirms the American people’s suspicions that the system is rigged against Kari Lake,” she told reporters.
“If this cabal of Manhattan élites think that they’re going to get away with not indicting me, they are gravely mistaken,” she said. “I will be their worst nightmare.”
The former anchorwoman was vague about what she called the “conspiracy” not to indict her but said, “I think it can be summed up in two words: George Soros.”
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