SAN FRANCISCO (The Borowitz Report)—Elon Musk’s decision to slash Twitter’s workforce had an unintended consequence, as the billionaire found himself accidentally included among the thousands laid off.
Musk got a sense that something was amiss on Monday morning, when he attempted to log on to the company’s Slack and found that he had been locked out.
Panicking, he jumped into his Tesla and raced to Twitter headquarters, only to discover that his key card no longer functioned.
Musk attempted to tweet a call for assistance, but found that his Twitter password had been changed and his blue check removed.
Estimates of the company’s profitability soared after the news that Musk had been laid off, and thousands of Twitter employees who had chosen to work remotely said that they would now come into the office.
For non-satirical coverage of the 2022 midterms, check out The New Yorker’s latest reporting and commentary on the campaign. Be sure to return on Election Day, November 8th, for live results and coverage.
More News
2024 Met Gala Red Carpet: Looks we love
Is this some kind of joke? A school facing shortages starts teaching standup comedy
Plants can communicate and respond to touch. Does that mean they’re intelligent?