Joe Biden’s Track Record, Decoded

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of people extolling the accomplishments of President Biden, but, as someone who’s kept track of his failings religiously, I’d like to unpack some of what Joe Biden supporters are actually celebrating.

When Joe Biden took office, the United States was experiencing cold temperatures and limited hours of daylight. After his Inauguration, the days began getting longer, without explanation. Although I’m reticent to admit it, I did enjoy the increasing hours of daylight. But, just when the days were at their longest, the amount of daylight began to decrease again.

Joe Biden was savvy enough not to shorten daylight hours all at once, but did it by taking away one minute every day, hoping that we wouldn’t notice. But I kept a log of when the sun was setting, and, sure enough, by the time August rolled around, days were already a full hour shorter! How he thought he could slip this one by the American people is beyond me. I think it’s his audacity that I hate the most.

I do concede that Joe Biden did eventually manage to lengthen daylight hours again, which was nice. But, if you’re really paying attention, you’ll see that the sun is once again setting earlier and earlier!

Another thing I’ve noticed is that the leaves on the trees have begun changing colors. Although I’ll admit to enjoying the new colors for now, if you decode the meaning of the colors you’ll see that this visually pleasant change may actually be a warning of things to come. Let’s go over the list of new leaf colors and what they could mean:

Gold: Gold often symbolizes money, which I support only when people I like have it. How did Joe Biden get all his money? We’ll never know for sure, but there is no plausible explanation other than the crimes I have imagined. Gold is also one of the colors on the Ukrainian flag (sort of). Are gold leaves Joe Biden’s way of politicizing trees and using them to subliminally bolster support for the war against Russia? Definitely, a hundred per cent.

Red: The color red is a rallying cry to the communism that Joe Biden is spreading throughout the U.S. Just watch—first it’s the trees, next thing you know there will be red flowers, red bugs, even red fruit! When you’re appreciating the beauty of a tree with red leaves, just consider at what cost. While the leaves were turning red, thousands of people were having fires put out by state-funded firefighters, instead of building and using their own personal fire engines, like the Framers intended.

Orange: The word “orange” has six letters. And we all know that six is the Devil’s favorite number. Orange starts with “O,” which is the fifteenth letter of the alphabet. If you add the digits of fifteen together, what do you get? That’s right—one plus five equals six! And how do we make orange? By combining red (communism) with yellow (Ukraine again). Are you starting to catch on now?

And this is just a breakdown of what the leaves look like today. Who knows what they’ll look like in a month? Or two months? Maybe if the leaves literally fall off the trees, the left will finally wake up and see what kind of desolate, leafless hellscape Joe Biden is leading us into.

Think critically about what other things have changed lately. Anyone else having to put on increasingly thick layers of clothing just to be comfortable outside? Joe Biden supporters are in complete denial about the fact that our country is getting colder every day. They wear their sweaters and jackets, turn on the heat in their cars, yet seem completely apathetic about the dropping temperatures of American air. Well, some of us notice, and we’re not going to quietly sit by as America becomes chilly, whereas countries like Venezuela enjoy heat that should rightfully be ours.

I don’t know if Joe Biden will eventually decide to make the country warm again or return tree leaves to their normal colors. Nobody knows why these things are happening, despite centuries of recorded history and scientific discovery. We simply have no explanation for anything that occurs under Joe Biden, other than that he is doing all of it on purpose to trick us.

Hopefully, a worthy leader will enter the ring soon and Make America Warm Again. ♦