Quiz: Is It Kate Bush, Eighties Nostalgia, or the Onset of a Fascist Apocalypse?

Is the soundtrack of your daily life an endless drum-machine beat that mimics a relentless, uphill battle?

Do you yearn to go back to a simpler time when you didn’t have to worry if your period-tracking-app data would ever be used against you in a court of law?

Do you find yourself wondering if time is moving forward or backward to the beat of a haunting, looping cello hook and subtle, steady synth?

Do you find yourself wondering if time is moving forward or backward to an era in which America considers women and Black and Native people chattel?

Are you held in a state of suspense by a surreal voice that never lets you not feel uneasy?

Are you worried that if you unfreeze your eggs but don’t use all the embryos you may go to jail?

Are you running up that road wondering how long it might take to travel from Texas to Minnesota?

Are you running up that hill wondering what would happen if you woke up to find that your marriage had been deemed illegal?

Are you running up that building wondering whether, if your marriage were deemed illegal, you would be allowed to unfreeze your eggs and create life at all?

Is it surreal that your young daughter, niece, and students all like the same song as you?

Is it hard to believe that your young daughter, niece, and students have less bodily autonomy than you did at their age?

Do you feel like you are racing to escape Vecna in the Upside Down while an English woman battle-cries “ye-yoooo!” to a smash of drums?

Do you feel like you are racing to grab condoms and Plan B to serve as a roving dispensary for women with ever-shrinking options?

Did you ever think that a song could build so slowly and surely to an otherworldly climax?

Do you find yourself fantasizing in the middle of the day about whether one of your doctor friends or family members would be able to pull some strings if you got raped and wanted to abort that pregnancy? Or even if you didn’t get raped but just didn’t want to have a child? And then you worry that your fantasy puts your doctor friend or family member at risk for imprisonment or violent attack?

Do you hope that it doesn’t take another thirty-seven years to embrace the genius of Kate Bush?

Do we have thirty-seven years? ♦