Telltale Signs That Your Sleep-Paralysis Demon Is Breaking Up with You

You can always tell when something’s a little off with your sleep-paralysis demon. We’re talking about someone you’ve known for years, someone you share a bed with. It’s a big emotional hit to hear him lie to you, even if he’s trying to spare your feelings. So it’s important to spot the warning signs of a deceitful sleep-paralysis demon before the relationship is irreparably damaged. Here’s what to look out for.

Does Not Stick to One Story

Your sleep-paralysis demon may make himself comfortable on your chest and tell you how excited he is to start a four-week sushi-making class in Greenwich Village. Then, weeks later, he’ll press down on your temples and invite you to his graduation dinner in Prospect Lefferts Gardens. This kind of slipup denotes a wandering eye.

Gaslights You

One surefire sign that your sleep-paralysis demon is thinking of ending things is if he tries to gaslight you. He might attempt to convince you that you left the refrigerator door open before heading off to bed, but trust your instincts. You did not leave the door open. And he definitely didn’t close the door on your behalf. These seemingly innocuous falsehoods and misdirections are designed to keep you off balance.

Hides You From His Nightmare Friends

You may start to notice that your sleep-paralysis demon no longer invites over the man in the floating top hat or the elderly woman whose skin uncoils. These ghouls aren’t too busy to hang out. He’s simply creating distance between you and his private life.

Avoids Eye Contact

You catch your sleep-paralysis demon sitting on the windowsill, avoiding your gaze. You try to engage him, but, before you can get a word out, he tells you that he brought back a few beers from a funeral reception. If you paid attention to his body language, you’d save yourself from disappointment when you open the fridge and see no funeral beers. It was all a deflection to avoid a hard conversation about breaking up.

Accuses You of De-stressing

Your sleep-paralysis demon might begin picking fights about how you’ve been less stressed lately and how that’s cutting into your quality time together—a common tactic that can easily be used to shift the blame to you. Although stress is an important part of the relationship with your sleep-paralysis demon, it does not fully determine it.

Cancels Future Plans

That 4 A.M. sleep-paralysis scare scheduled for Valentine’s Day never happened, despite a promise made months ago. Your sleep-paralysis demon continues to find excuses for why he can’t hold your feet tightly together on Christmas Eve or float over your face the night of your birthday. It’s time to face facts: it’s over.