Trump Claims Justice Department Cannot Prove He Ever Acted as a President

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Predicting that “their case is about to fall apart,” Donald J. Trump claimed that the Department of Justice has “zero proof” that he ever acted as a President.

“This is the greatest witch hunt of all time,” Trump told Fox News’s Sean Hannity. “Merrick Garland and the D.O.J. will never, ever find evidence of me doing something a President would do.”

“This is like accusing Rudy Giuliani of being a lawyer,” he added.

As for the White House aides who have been called before a grand jury, Trump said, “If any of them come up with even one example of me being a President, they’re lying.”

Calling the D.O.J.’s investigation of him a “disgrace,” he warned, “If I can be accused of being a President, then anyone can. This should never be allowed to happen in our country.”