What You Imagine Your Landlord Is Doing Instead of Fixing Your Broken Toilet

Enjoying a ride on SpaceX.

Taking measurements in your building’s basement for a private wine cellar.

Taking his pet python out for a stroll.

Checking out yachts at the boat show.

Taking a Zoom class.

Scouring Craigslist for appliances and fixtures.

Ignoring your calls while at a landlord convention in Key West.

Making a TikTok to the Genesis song “Get ’Em Out by Friday.”